Seeing the deplorable male characters parading through some novels, I knew I had to finally make the case for one of the best written men in the genre. Too many stories normalize possessiveness, control, or general toxicity and call it love. So here’s the antidote: a male lead who shows what real strength looks like. (Too bad he’s not the same species as us, but whatever, details. Besides, after a while the pointy ears start to grow on you.)
Rhysand from ACOTAR is power without cruelty, confidence without arrogance, intelligence without manipulation. He empowers rather than restricts, supports rather than suffocates — and more readers deserve to see exactly this kind of masculinity on page .
1. He protects without controlling — even when it costs him everything.
When Amarantha ruled Prythian, Rhysand sacrificed his entire reputation, autonomy, and dignity to gather intelligence, protect Velaris, and keep Feyre alive long enough to survive the trials.
He never told Feyre the full extent of his sacrifices because:
- He didn’t want her to feel indebted.
- He wanted her to make choices without coercion.
This is a man who:
- Bears humiliation privately
- Allows others to misunderstand him
- Takes on the burden so others don’t have to
Tamlin framed control as protection. Rhysand frames protection as responding to someone’s needs, not dictating them.
2. He gives Feyre freedom, choice, and autonomy from the first moment.
- He offers her a deal instead of imprisoning her.
- Under the Mountain, he makes sure she can breathe, sleep, and have a sliver of emotional relief.
- When she comes to the Night Court, he never demands gratitude.
- He tells her, point-blank: “I want you to be free.”
Rhysand’s love is permissionless. He wants who she becomes — not what she can do for him.
3. He recognizes Feyre’s trauma before she does and supports her healing without forcing it.
He sees instantly that Feyre is suffocating in the Spring Court. Everyone else keeps saying “you’re safe now.” Rhysand is the only one who says “you’re drowning.”
He:
- Introduces her to work that builds purpose
- Encourages her to train
- Gives her community
- Never asks her to shrink
- Helps her reclaim her identity
He meets her where she is emotionally, not where he wishes she would be.
Healing requires respect.
Rhysand gives Feyre the space, tools, and empowerment to save herself.
4. He treats Feyre as an equal — in power, in politics, in decision-making.
Once she becomes High Lady (the only High Lady), Rhysand:
- Shares every secret and political strategy
- Gives her a seat at every war table
- Defers to her judgment
- Fights alongside her as a partner, not a savior
He never expects obedience. He expects partnership.
Most fantasy romances show the powerful male as the protector. Rhysand shows the powerful male as a co-leader.
5. He never uses his power to diminish her — only to amplify her.
Whether it’s training her magic, helping her integrate her powers, or encouraging her to use every part of herself, Rhysand:
- Never fears her strength
- Never competes with her
- Never resents her growth
In fact, he wants her to surpass him — that’s the mark of a secure man.
Power dynamics in fantasy romance often lean toxic. Rhysand subverts that completely: his power exists to fortify Feyre’s power.
6. His sacrifices are invisible by design — that’s real love.
Velaris was safe because he held the spell for 49 years. His people were safe because he willingly became everything the world feared and subjected himself to slight ostracization.
Feyre survived because he quietly broke rules, manipulated risks, and handed her small lifelines. And never asked for recognition.
The best men in fiction (and reality) are the ones who bear the cost quietly so that others can breathe freely.
Rhysand’s love is actions-first, ego-last.
7. He loves Feyre as she is and as she becomes.
He loves:
- Feyre the huntress
- Feyre the broken survivor
- Feyre the High Lady
- Feyre the warrior
- Feyre the wrathful
- Feyre the soft
He adapts as she evolves. He celebrates every version.
Growth kills many fictional relationships. Rhysand’s bond deepens as Feyre grows.
When your boyfriend is literally the Night Sky but still makes time to hold your hand and stare into your eyes. Disgusting. I love them.
8. He builds a world for her, not a cage.
The Night Court is:
- Community
- Found family
- Freedom
- Healing
The right partner introduces new things into your world, open doors you didn’t know existed, introduce you to new parts of yourself, and help you step into rooms you thought would be locked. The right partner doesn’t shrink your world — they expand it. Rhysand expands hers in every direction — friends, purpose, power, identity.
VERDICT: Why Rhysand is the best man
Because he represents love as:
- Freedom, not possession
- Empowerment, not control
- Sacrifice without bitterness
- Partnership without hierarchy
- Healing without force
- Devotion without ego
He is the rare fantasy love interest whose immense magical power is matched equally by his emotional intelligence, humility, and deep respect.
He doesn’t save Feyre from her story — he helps her become the strongest version of herself inside it.
But I’m hoping he’s not the only good man out there. Do you know of any other male protagonists that deserve a mention?
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