Green Where You Water It

What if growth doesn’t have to feel noble.

Like discipline.

Like sacrifice.

Like if you’re not slightly miserable, you’re doing it wrong.

What if personal growth doesn’t require pain, grit, or a dramatic montage set to inspirational piano music?

What if you could grow by…being sneaky? By ticking off two goals at once? By double-dipping your effort and using the dopamine hit from the rush of efficiency in your favor?

Because that, apparently, is what actually works for me.

Why “doing everything separately” rarely worked

For a long time, I treated my goals like separate projects:

1. Improve my mindset.
2. Finish a novella.
3. Fix my handwriting.
4. Read more books.

Each one made sense on its own. Together, they felt like a lifestyle I did not consent to.

I’d work on one, drop another, circle back, and feel like I was constantly starting over. Meanwhile, other people seemed to be effortlessly “doing it all,” and I was over here wondering if they had extra hours in the day or just better software.

The breakthrough was embarrassingly simple: I don’t have to pursue my goals separately.

Why the “focus on one thing” advice didn’t fit me

I used to think the right way to pursue goals was to focus on one thing at a time. Arnold Schwarzenegger famously said that when he trained, he focused entirely on the muscle he was working. That level of focus took him to the top.

That’s great…for Arnold.

I’m not trying to be the best in the world.

I’m trying to be slightly better than I was last year, while living a calm, regular-person life and managing health limitations.

Different horizons require different strategies.

The actual solution: pairing goals

So working within these constraints, how do I still make progress?

Answer: by pairing routines.

One action. Two intentions. Immediate dopamine hit.

For example: to improve my handwriting, instead of writing “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” everyday—which is mind numbing to say the least—I write out affirmations like “Good things always happen to girls like me”.

(I would like to credit that to The Rich BFF, but for the life of me, I can’t find the exact video of her saying it and this will now haunt me for—like—ever.)

Now I’m practicing handwriting & reinforcing a mindset shift. Same time invested, same energy, double the wins:

• Mindset work becomes tangible
• Handwriting practice has gained purpose
• Growth in both domains feels like less of a slog and more like a game.

Why single-goal thinking creates friction

Most advice sound wise but ignore how some humans—like reflective, creative, mildly scatterbrained ones—actually behave.

Think about it, some goals are:

• abstract (mindset, confidence, identity)
• tedious (handwriting drills, repetition, exercising)
• emotionally risky (finishing a draft)

When pursued individually, each one creates friction:

• Abstract goals feel vague
• Tedious goals feel pointless
• Risky goals trigger avoidance

You don’t fail because you lack discipline. You fail because you’re working uphill when there’s a flatter path available.

What pairing goals actually means

Pairing goals means deliberately linking:

• a meaningful goal with a practical one
• an internal goal with a physical action
• a long-term identity shift with a short daily ritual

The goals support each other instead of competing for attention. They cover each other’s weaknesses. They distract you from the hard parts by filling them in with their fun parts. (That sentence sounds wrong on many levels but I refuse to rewrite it.)

The point is coherence. When goals are paired well:

• You stop negotiating with yourself
• You stop feeling scattered
• You start trusting your own systems

The only four pairings I actually use

Let’s be honest: I don’t do 50. I do four. And they work. Maybe I’ll do more as I think of them, but for now, here’s what’s been working for me:

Goals (in the interest of brevity, the non-SMART versions):

• Improving fitness
• Improving spirituality
• Improving handwriting
• Finishing a novella
• Improving mindset
• Reading more books

My personal pairings

• Exercise + prayers
  I play audio prayers while exercising. Physical effort quiets my mind, and the words land deeper. Movement + meaning = grounding instead of grind.
• Handwriting practice + affirmations
  My handwriting stops looking like I was raised by wolves and my brain stops being mean to me. Lets see Arnold beat those odds.
• Chores + mindset videos/audiobooks
  Laundry is boring. My thoughts are feral. Enter: mindset videos and audiobooks. Now my dishes are clean and I’m being gently coached through existence. Growth + domestication = evolution. My very own Pokemon arc.
• Walking + thinking through a story
  Walking turns my brain into a creative golden retriever. No pressure. No screens. Just me, the ground, and my characters solving plot problems like they pay rent.

Some other options you could try

General:

• Walking + problem-solving
• Stretching + story thinking
• Tidying + emotional processing
• Showering + reframing worries

Growth + care:

These help you grow without burning yourself to the ground:

• Hard task + gentleness
• Fear exposure + reassurance
• Discipline + compassion
• Ambition + grounding ritual

The real takeaway

I used to think growth had to feel serious to be real—solemn, disciplined, mildly miserable. Turns out I’m more more motivated by wins than torture. Who knew?

But if sneaky productivity gets me to show up consistently—without burnout, resentment, or a full personality overhaul—I’ll take the win. I’m not becoming a better person through suffering. I’m becoming a better person through happy shortcuts and mild self-bribery.

To help you engage in similar debauchery, remember: some practices don’t need more time. They just need a ride-along.

When effort carries meaning, neither feels heavy anymore.